Mary, Mother of uncertainty
Psalm 88
O Lord, God of my salvation, when, at night, I cry out in your presence, let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry.
The Rector Major’s words
Mary, mother of uncertainty, knows well the trembling of the heart when life takes paths we had not foreseen. The evangelist Luke recounts that, faced with the angel’s announcement, Mary ‘was greatly troubled’ and wondered what that greeting meant. She does not understand everything; she does not hold the whole plan in her hands, and yet, in that zone of shadow, she utters her ‘here I am’: it is precisely there that uncertainty becomes a place of trust. We, too, like her, often find ourselves saying: ‘How is this possible?’ without having immediate answers.
Mary carries in her heart the same questions that dwell in our hearts. She knows what it means not to be understood, to fear the judgment of others, to wonder whether the other person – like Joseph – will be able to enter into the mystery we are experiencing.
She knows what it means to be unable to change events, as when, at the foot of the cross, she sees her Son dying and remains ‘standing by the cross of Jesus.’ She cannot intervene, she cannot stop the pain, but she can remain, and it is this steadfast and faithful standing that makes her a bulwark in the hour of trial. When all hope seems lost, and everything would suggest fleeing, Mary remains, and in her remaining, she keeps a passageway open to salvation.
This is why we can call her the mother of uncertainty: not because she loves doubt, but because she accompanies us within doubt without leaving us alone. She teaches us that waiting is the place where the Word of God ripens slowly, like a seed hidden in the earth.
At the hour when we do not know what to do, Mary reminds us that we can remain faithful even when we cannot see the outcome, that we can continue to say ‘Thy will be done’ even amidst our tears. Entrusting ourselves to her means letting her hand hold ours in the darkness, so that uncertainty is transformed, little by little, into trusting surrender and into a hope that does not disappoint.
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