(ANS – Rome) – A silent, attentive lecture hall, filled with emotion and reflection: this was the atmosphere that accompanied the meeting of the Pontifical Salesian University (UPS) academic community on March 18, 2026, on the theme “Violence Against Women and a Culture of Respect: An Educational Challenge,” which arose from a direct request by students.

The proceedings were opened by the Rector of the UPS, Prof. Fr. Andrea Bozzolo, who highlighted the responsibility of the educational world in the face of a phenomenon as widespread as it is complex. It is not enough to condemn violence, he emphasized—it is necessary to understand it, recognize it, and prevent it.

However, it was above all the testimony of Filomena Di Gennaro that marked the most intense moment of the meeting. A survivor of an attempted murder by her ex-boyfriend in 2006, she now lives in a wheelchair. Her account went beyond the drama of the event and focused on what preceded it: subtle warning signs, often invisible to those experiencing them. Control, psychological pressure, jealousy, and restriction of personal freedom—dynamics that can be mistaken for love but actually represent its opposite. “We always think that certain things happen to other people,” she explained to the students in the lecture hall, pointing to this underestimation as one of the main obstacles to prevention.

The central point of her reflection focused on the theme of possession. “Mine or no one else’s”—the words her attacker addressed to her before shooting her. A phrase that, in her message today, becomes a warning to be overturned: no one belongs to anyone. She urged young people in particular to recognize the signs of unhealthy relationships and not remain silent. Alongside her condemnation, her testimony also offered hope: the possibility of rebuilding one’s life and living healthy relationships founded on respect and mutuality.

Building on this testimony, Prof. Marco Pacifico offered a psychological analysis of the phenomenon, highlighting how many violent relationships stem from a profound fragility of identity. In these dynamics, the other person ceases to be seen as a person and becomes an object, used to fill an inner void. Such relationships are marked by emotional dependence, control, and an inability to accept the other person’s autonomy. These situations are difficult to recognize from within, he emphasized, which is why the role of those around them—friends, family members, and educators—is so crucial.

There are no quick fixes or shortcuts: change requires time, awareness, and deep personal journeys, far removed from the simplifications often found in public debate and on social media.

Prof. Alessandro Ricci’s talk focused on the educational dimension, highlighting an increasingly evident gap: the lack of genuine emotional and affective education. Today, he observed, children and adolescents grow up immersed in a digital environment that often presents distorted models of relationships. The internet, pornography, social media, and music content effectively become primary educators, while families and schools struggle to fulfill this role. Technology, he explained, is not the problem in itself, but it profoundly changes how relationships are experienced: it reduces waiting times, encourages impulsivity, and creates emotional distance. This distance can lower inhibitions and make the shift to aggressive behavior easier.

Hence the urgent need for a renewed educational commitment, capable of developing essential skills in young people: recognizing emotions, naming them, learning to manage them, and communicating them effectively. Without this effort, the risk is a growing inability to build and sustain healthy relationships.

The meeting concluded with remarks from the Rector, Fr. Andrea Bozzolo, who issued a direct appeal to personal responsibility. The problem, he noted, is not a lack of principles—on these, in theory, there is broad agreement. The real challenge is putting them into practice. Education does not simply mean imparting knowledge, but accompanying an inner journey—one of self-awareness, confronting personal weaknesses, and emotional maturity. In this context, authentic love is defined as recognizing the uniqueness of the other and supporting their growth, overcoming any notion of possession.

The meeting ended with questions and reflections, leaving students with the awareness that gender-based violence is not a distant issue, but a reality that concerns everyone. Prevention begins, first and foremost, with education.

Source: Pontifical Salesian University