By JC Montenegro, PhD

(Los Angeles, California) – In many communities, especially within the Salesian Family, young people are often visible. They read at Mass, sing in the choir, help with events, and fill the space with energy.

But visibility is not the same as participation.

If we’re honest, sometimes young people are treated more like decoration than direction. Present, but not leading. Included, but not entrusted.

That’s not the Salesian way. And it’s certainly not the Gospel way.

From Audience to Protagonists

The Salesian charism, inspired by Don Bosco, has always been rooted in a bold belief: young people are not just the future, they are the present. Not passive recipients, but active builders.

Yet in practice, it’s easy to default to control. Adults plan, organize, and decide. Young people are invited to help… but rarely to shape.

Here’s the shift: if we want connection, we have to move from “How do we include them?” to “How do we trust them?”

Because young people don’t just want a role. They want a voice.

What Actually Builds Connection

From the insights we’ve been reviewing, a few patterns are clear.

Young people connect best with adults who are consistent. Who show up. Who don’t change tone depending on mood or setting.

They respond to adults who listen without jumping in to correct, fix, or lecture. And they quickly disengage when they feel judged, dismissed, or managed.

They also recognize authenticity immediately. If we’re real, they lean in. If we’re performing, they check out.

This aligns perfectly with the Salesian “preventive system”: reason, religion, and loving-kindness. Not control, not distance, not fear.

In other words, relationship first. Always.

A Biblical Reality Check

If there’s any doubt that young people can lead, Scripture clears that up quickly.

Take David. A teenager overlooked by nearly everyone, yet the one who steps forward when no one else will. He doesn’t wait to be “ready.” He acts with courage and trust.

Or Mary, likely very young when she says yes to something far bigger than herself. No committee. No long preparation. Just openness and faith.

Then there’s Jeremiah, who literally tells God he’s too young to speak. God disagrees. Strongly.

And let’s not forget Timothy, encouraged by Paul the Apostle with the famous reminder: “Don’t let anyone look down on you because of your youth.”

The pattern is consistent. God doesn’t wait for people to age into relevance.

So why do we?

Let Them Lead (Yes, Really)

If we believe young people can be protagonists, then we have to act like it.

That means:

• Letting them plan parts of liturgies, not just participate
• Inviting their ideas before decisions are made, not after
• Giving responsibility that actually matters, not just tasks
• Accepting that things may look different (and that’s not a problem)

Will it be messy sometimes? Of course. But so was every meaningful moment of growth.

Control produces compliance. Trust produces ownership.

And ownership is where faith becomes personal.

A Salesian Challenge

Here’s the uncomfortable question: are we creating spaces where young people feel needed, or just welcomed?

Because there’s a difference.

Welcomed means “you can be here.”
Needed means “this doesn’t work without you.”

Don Bosco didn’t build environments where young people simply attended. He built places where they belonged and contributed.

If we want to stay true to that mission, we have to be willing to step back just enough for them to step forward.

The Bottom Line

Young people are not the background of the Church.

They are not there to fill seats, hold candles, or complete the picture.

They are thinkers, leaders, creators, and believers in formation right now.

When adults show up with consistency, listen with respect, and trust them with real responsibility, something shifts.

They don’t just participate.

They lead.

And when that happens, the Church doesn’t just look younger.

It becomes more alive.