By Sheila Kun RN, BA, BSN, MS

If you read my article “The Day is Getting Dark Slowly: A perspective on Aging (Part 1), you have been promised that I would translate a leading article on aging written by a famous author from China. Mr. Daxin Zhou depicted the aging process for the seniors 60 and above as “scenes”. He persuades us to examine these scenes early on so that as we enter into the senior years, we won’t be taken by surprise. This week, let me translate the first two scenes for you.

Scene number 1:  As you navigate through this later stage in life, it’s important to recognize that the circle of people around you is gradually shrinking. By now your grandparents, parents, uncles, and aunties have likely passed away, leaving you with peers of your own age group. However, these companions may have their own busy lives, and it’s unlikely that they’ll always be there to keep you company. Many might have relocated to other states to be closer to their children. These friends you once socialized with may now be immersed in their own retirement pursuits, and the younger generations are occupied with the rest of their families and careers. Even when it comes to vacation, both of these groups may have different interests and hobbies for how they would like to relax. In essence, be prepared for a sense of solitude. 

For those who are married, your spouse may have departed as well, leaving you with even fewer companions. What remains is “ample time on hand,” which may translate to moments of loneliness. In simpler terms, brace yourself to adapt to a life of solitude. It’s crucial to develop the skills to manage your life independently; otherwise, you may find yourself tasting the bitterness of emptiness and depression.

Scene number 2: As you settle into retirement, the once-prominent role you played in society becomes increasingly obscure. The recognition and acclaim that were once part of your daily life have faded away. In the realm of retirement, there are no more projects, conferences, business planning sessions, or social contributions that once defined your existence. Regardless of how illustrious your career may have been or how renowned you were, aging has a way of leveling the playing field. You become just another elderly individual strolling down the street, devoid of the limelight that once bathed you in its glow. Embrace the quiet corner and find joy in the accomplishments of the younger generation. It’s a moment to settle down, humbly acknowledging the ebbing of the spotlight, and learning to appreciate a supporting role. Discover the richness that comes with a more contemplative and supportive presence in the backdrop of life.

(Sheila’s reflection: these two scenarios are very, very real. Most of us ignore this horrible feeling of being alone or leading a less glamorous life. But this is the reality for most seniors. Daxin Zhou presented these scenes. Now it is up to us seniors to rewrite a new script for your senior life! I would be happy to hear how you use the above information and come up with interventional strategies to manage your life.)

Your homework from the Care Ministry this week: Write to us about your thoughts and reaction on these two scenarios described above.

Love to hear from you: kunlouis@gmail.com