Divine Secrets (Part IV)

By: Sheila Kun RN, BA, BSN, MS

Divine Secret 3: Not Everyone Responds the Same Way. We got a lot of feedback on this Divine Secret last week. This message resonates with many people. The bottom line is; we are all different people. We may not behave the same way, especially during our grieving period.

This week, let us examine the fourth Divine Secret: Allow for Future Productivity. This is an abstract from The Divine Secrets of the Dwindling Sisterhood, a chapter of The Overwhelmed Woman’s Guide to … Caring for Aging Parents by Julie-Allyson Ieron.

When the seniors are ready to accept the loss, another Divine Secret is to allow for future productivity. It might have taken someone a year to process the grief before he/she could move on. When they are ready to be reintegrated into family life and take on meaningful tasks, some of the activities you will see might begin with doing small tasks for the family. Or they might take up hobbies like playing the piano or follow old routine of joining the choir again in church. All these are good tasks in the right direction.

Some of them might find new volunteer work or other services that the community needs. I personally had witnessed such service when a grandfather lost his newborn grandson in the NICU. Since then, he decided to dedicate his time to the neonates by being a volunteer. His job was to hold and console the babies. His warm and loving embrace calmed many babies down. This simple task allows baby to have the human touch, to learn to nestle in a warm body and to re-set their vital signs to a more normal level. I can image the satisfaction this grandpa volunteer gets every time when a baby in distress finally calms down in his arms!

Just like all of us, we look forward to the future for a more positive outcome, whether it is a failed business venture or the loss of a loved one. Allowing a productive future is a good thing.

Your homework from the Care Ministry this week: can you recall a good productive task after losing a loved one?

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